Full Disclosure (2012) by Dee Henderson

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I tried. I really tried. I hadn’t thought that there was a book out there that I couldn’t get through. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve not finished books before but it was out of boredom or reading too many different books at once or any number of reasons. But with Full Disclosure I simply couldn’t get through it. I gave it three solid sessions on the audio book but I had to give up.

I started a long drive and twenty minutes in my audiobook finished. I realised I hadn’t loaded anything new onto my phone so I searched through audible to see what I could find. Full Disclosure was the only thing I hadn’t read.

When I first started I really wanted to get my hands on the manuscript and attack it with a red pen marking ‘trite’ and ‘unreasonable’ and ‘this is unrealistic’ and ‘rewrite this part’ all over it. That feeling passed after about an hour when I realised that editing wouldn’t have been anything more than throwing good money after bad.

The first time I wondered what exactly was happening was when the main character, a cop, sits down with his captain and they spend what must have been twenty or thirty pages discussing the love interest in the story. I say discussing but what happens is the captain diatribes every single detail of the woman’s life to his employee. How he knows every facet of a cop from another precinct’s life I’m not sure. Why he thinks this is appropriate (even if they’re friends) I can’t understand. What was going through the authors head is completely a mystery.

The female character is a forty year old virgin who has had alot of relationships but…. I can’t even finish the sentence. What? This is odd. It’s not a comedy (like the movie based on the phenomenon) it’s serious. And the way it comes up is contrived and strange. The captain is telling about all of her past relationships and the guy doing the enquiring asks ‘so I guess the obvious question is, has she ever had sex?’ What? What!?!

So this guy, who the captain accuses of being a ladykiller and philanderer (before trying to sell all her virtues for the next hour or so), sits listening to details about this 40 year old cops love life and his first thought is ‘I wonder if this chick is a virgin?’ Ummm….  No.

Now I understand that this is a popular belief system around the world, that sex before marriage is a sin and therefore and unmarried woman would be a virgin even at forty but come on. Really? If we were created in God’s image then surely people are meant to have sex. It’s fun. It’s gratifying. It helps bring babies. I’m not condoning hundreds of partners or anything weird (although each to his own imho) but seriously if u are getting about in this outdated mode of living then you are falling victim to an insidious idea from the past. Sure be discerning. Sure,  be celebate till marriage. But if you’re forty and haven’t found the one then you probably should try a different tactic. And the guy who’s asking is an admitted philanderer. Why would he ever guess or hope that she was a virgin?

Another issue was that (despite my feelings on the whole 40 year old virgin thing) the author presents these people as well adjusted people with no problems. Their biggest issues are finding a spouse who can handle their smoothly running lives. Life is messy. Someone once said that all writing is the human heart in conflict. This had no conflict at all. Clearly defined ‘goodies’ and ‘badies’. No one is that together.

From here it got more ludicrous and I decided to give it up for good. I was three hours of torture in and it’s over 14 hrs of poorly voice acted trite. Please avoid this title for the love of God. A poor story with a barely hidden agenda and an annoying narrator. This is coopted uptight Christian literature at its worst. It was free on audible and now we know why.

Avoid!

0 stars (minus one for the poorly hidden agenda)

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